DIVORCE CAN FEEL LIKE “THE END” OF YOUR LIFE STORY

It’s never easy, is it? The differences, the disagreements, the silence…. Sometimes, when a relationship turns sour, there’s no going back, no second chances, no turning the wheels of time. It’s over. You try to save it from falling apart but the writing is on the wall….as clear as day… the D word: DIVORCE. And that’s okay.

BUT EVERY ENDING….IS JUST A NEW BEGINNING

When something comes to an end, something new is bound to emerge. Sure, divorce is the end of a marriage, but look at it as the beginning of a new chapter in your life. That thought is liberating. It removes the blame, the guilt, the hatred. Breathe. It doesn’t have to be all downhill. Switch your perspective and you’ll find your inner peace.

THE NEW RELATIONSHIP

When one door closes, another one opens. By this I don’t mean the door of another relationship! It’s best to avoid that trap until you properly recover. First and foremost, get to know your own self. Yes, that’s right. Develop a new relationship with the one who truly deserves it: YOU. Take time to heal, process your thoughts, recover, rejuvenate. Do whatever it takes to restore your energy. Think of this as a chance to develop some new thoughts, new skills, new feelings. Once you feel at ease with your own mind, body and spirit, you’ll be ready to face the world!

So often women (and men) feel as if their world has collapsed because they just signed the papers of divorce. If you allow yourself to stay stuck in that state of mind, you’ll stay there forever more. But if you reframe this ending as the beginning of something new, perhaps something better even, you’ll emerge victorious.

THE REAL WINNERS IN A DIVORCE

Break free from the mindset that you must win the battle. Win child custody. Win child support. Win alimony. The REAL winners in a divorce are the ones who realize that this was meant to end this way.

“Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us.” -Epictetus

Realizing this difference is crucial. A scholar once said “Detach from the things you cannot control and focus on the ones that you can. Know that sometimes the only thing you will be able to control is your attitude towards something.”

That’s why the person who wins in a divorce process is the one who does not see it as a battleground, but an ending of a chapter of their lives leading to a new beginning in their life story.

Good luck with your new beginning!

Saba Husain,

Divorce Attorney, Morristown NJ

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